R.S. Grey’s new standalone romance, Love the One You Hate is coming May 7th! Check out the gorgeous cover and find out more today!
About Love the One You Hate (Available May 7th)
Blurb:
Nicholas Hunt is the man I hate.
For good reason.
His opinion of me is tainted by prejudice even before my arrival at his grandmother’s estate, and my first impression of him is just as abysmal.
His arrogance and icy demeanor make it clear that he’s the type of man who’s best handled at a distance.
Fortunately, space shouldn’t be an issue inside this Gilded Age mansion and its lush gardens. If I stick with the servants and he keeps to his sailboat and vintage Porsche, we should hardly cross paths at all. Unfortunately, at Rosethorn, I find that all roads eventually lead to Nicholas Hunt.
Sparks fly as we spar at the dinner table. Fighting words are flung in the shadows of the palatial halls.
We hang suspended in our hatred of one another, painfully oblivious to the heat and tension that build with every moment we’re left alone. We’re liable to kill one another, I think…right up until my eyes land on his lips and a new feeling grips hold of me: lust.
What’s worse?
He knows it.
They say you should keep your enemies close, but when Nicholas tightens his grip on my waist and draws me near, I’m not sure if it’s out of loathing or love.
R.S. Grey is the USA Today bestselling author of over twenty novels. She lives in Texas with her husband and daughter, and can be found reading, binge-watching reality TV, or practicing yoga! Visit her at rsgrey.com
Samantha Young is a New York Times and #1 International bestselling author from Stirlingshire, Scotland. On Dublin Street was Samantha’s first adult contemporary romance series and has sold in thirty countries. She has since published over thirteen romance titles including the New York Times Bestsellers Into the Deep, Hero, and her most recent contemporary romance Fight or Flight. When writing Adult Paranormal romance she writes under the pen name S. Young.
This is a simple, sweet, second chances story. Zora and Nick had a once-in-a-lifetime love, until fate and bad decisions tore them apart. Nick returns to town to reclaim what he once had. They both make mistakes along the way, but they grow and mature together. They both aren’t afraid to be vulnerable and learn from their mistakes. It’s a bit of a slow burn, I perhaps would have enjoyed it a little faster or with more plot, but it was still very enjoyable.
It’s Hope Ellis’s debut novel and I can’t wait to read more from her
ZORA LEFFERSBEE’S once perfect life is no longer perfect. Her tenure at the University is in question, funding for her employees uncertain, and her faux-fiancé, Jackson James’s unpredictability is wearing on her last nerve. Just when Zora is convinced things can’t get more complicated, life proves her wrong.
What the heck is he doing here?
NICK ROSSI’s complicated life is still extremely complicated. He’s used to fighting for everything he has, but he’s also used to winning. Now a man of power and influence, his return to Green Valley after so many years hasn’t gone according to plan, especially with the woman he’s always wanted.
She can’t know why I left, or why I’m back.
A powerful woman intent on righting the wrongs of the world, Zora doesn’t have time or energy to deal with the man who broke her young heart.
A powerful man intent on righting the wrongs of the past, Nick can’t help wanting to protect Zora, even if his devotion is unrequited.
‘Been There Done That’ is a full-length contemporary romance, can be read as a standalone, and is book #1 in the Leffersbee series, Green Valley World, Penny Reid Book Universe.
Download your copy today or read FREE in Kindle Unlimited!
My Grandmother Leffersbee used to say, “Life isn’t perfect, but that’s what makes it so interesting.” Then she’d wink before adding, “Do you want interesting? Or do you want boring?”
Right now? I could use some boring perfection. Just a little. Just a smidge. Please.
“Zora.” A vaguely familiar-sounding voice said my name from someplace in the vicinity of my office doorway. I ignored it, hoping they’d take my silence as an invitation to go away.
You’re almost out of time.
My eyes stung, but I wasn’t going to cry. There is no crying in clinic communication research; there is only more research, more grant applications, more trying, more doing. But, damn, I really thought we had this one in the bag. Folks’ livelihoods depended on it. My tenure, my job, depended on it. Not to mention the research itself was important—so incredibly important.
“Zora,” that voice said again, firmer this time. Closer.
Given my present state of mind and eau de sweat fantastique, I can’t help barking out, “Now isn’t a good time.”
The man didn’t respond for a beat, but then once more said, “Zora,” this time with a hint of grit and impatience.
My glare cut away from the offending rejection email and I opened my mouth to volley something scathingly polite and dismissive, but then every nerve and muscle in my body seized. The clouds outside my office window parted at that very moment, emitting a biblical shaft of light that illuminated my overstuffed bookcases—and the breathtaking specimen of man standing in my office doorway on the fifth floor of the medical research building.
What the . . .?
Shock choked me. I couldn’t breathe. The cracked vinyl of the office chair’s armrests bit into the tender flesh of my palms.
I recognized him immediately even though he looked very, very different. All the awkward lankiness and unformed promise of his youth had been ruthlessly fulfilled in the intervening years. But after twelve years of empty, aching absence, of wondering and worrying, of resignation and sadness . . . he was here.
Was he real?
“I thought . . . I thought you were dead.” The whispered words left my mouth at the same time they formed in my brain.
Nick Armstrong stood silent and unmoving, a stolid sentry, looking at me. Just . . . looking.
The width of his shoulders filled the doorway, leaving scant space between his head and the door frame. I couldn’t help devouring the sight of him, half-wondering if he were a mirage. Despite being as fashion challenged as I was, I easily identified the perfect fit of a bespoke suit, noting how the high-quality fabric closely followed the muscled bulk of his shoulders and arms. The unassuming dark jacket, white dress shirt, and trousers did little to hide his tapered waist and well-developed thighs.
His hulking presence alone ensnared my attention, but his face arrested it. He was striking. Thick, ink-black hair just starting to curl over his collar matched the dark stubble shadowing his square jaw. His slightly off-center nose, likely the result of a break, ruined the pure symmetry of his features. But his eyes were a startling shade of green, the same showy, verdant hue of summer leaves under an ominously gunmetal sky.
So unsettlingly familiar. And yet . . . No, it couldn’t be him. There was no way it was Nick. Not after all these years.
This isn’t possible.
I lurched up and made a spectacle of myself as I struggled to stand. Panic weighted my feet. Disbelief severed any connection with my brain’s higher processing, leaving me stuck to my chair with my mouth hanging ajar. “Letting in flies,” as my Grandma Leffersbee would have said.
I blinked back confusion as I stared at him, captured by a whisper, an echo of a memory. “Who . . . ?”
His mouth moved, like maybe he was going to introduce himself. But instead, he repeated my name for a fourth time, “Zora . . .”
This voice was different from the Nick I had loved. Deeper. But the way he said my name, slowly, as if savoring the taste of something rich? I could never forget that.
It is him.
About Hope Ellis
Hope Ellis is a health outcomes researcher by day and writes romances featuring sexy nerds by night. She hopes to one day conquer her habit of compulsively binge-watching The Office.
Welcome back to Weight Expectations, where the unexpected is likely to happen.
Cutie and the Beast, an all-new hilarious romantic standalone from M.E. Carter, is LIVE!
Living with her mother seemed like a good idea at the time. But Elliott Donovan’s living arrangements are not working for her anymore. Desperate to get back on her financial feet after a divorce and out from under her mother’s thumb, Elliott takes a job in the child care center at Weight Expectations, a local gym.
It has everything she needs – family friendly hours, more pay than she expected, and a super cute trainer who just happens to have part of his house for rent.
Abel DiSoto was living the good life until his wife walked out taking half of the family income with her. The blow to his ego was bad enough, but after a fire at the gym scattered Abel’s clients, and consequently his commissions, he’s stuck figuring out how to make ends meet, too. Renting out the master suite of his house to his new co-worker seems like an easy solution. They’re both mature adults, they both have eight-year-old daughters, and their work schedules coordinate so they can lend each other a helping hand to ease the burden of single parenthood.
The only downside? Living like a blended family when you’re not actually a family can present some challenges.
Welcome back to Weight Expectations, where the unexpected is likely to happen.
‘Cutie and the Beast’ is a full-length contemporary romantic comedy, can be read as a standalone, and is book #3 in the Cipher Office series, Knitting in the City World, Penny Reid Book Universe.
My name is M.E. Carter and I have no idea how I ended up writing books. I’m more of a story teller (the more exaggerated the better) and I happen to know people who helped me get those stories on paper. I love reading (read almost 200 books last year), hate working out (but I do it anyway because my trainer makes me), love food (but hate what it does to my butt) and love traveling to non-touristy places most people never see. I live in Houston with my four kids, Mary, Elizabeth, Carter and Bug, who was just a twinkle in my eye when I came up with my pen name. Yeah, I’ll probably have to pay for his therapy someday for being left out.
Code of Honor, an all-new fun and flirty romantic standalone in the Cipher Security series from April White, is available now in Kindle Unlimited!
My Take:
Romance, action, drama, mystery- what more could you want? I loved the first book in the series and I loved this one as well. I don’t have a favorite, as far as I’m concerned when our heroine is strong, badass, determined, and weird we are all winners.
I loved watching the mystery unravel. I loved learning about Darius and his family’s history. I loved Anna’s lack of filter. I just loved it all!
A painting, a panic room, a thief, and her lover … whose job is to catch her.
There are three things you need to know about Anna.
1) She’s a bounty hunter with adrenaline junkie habits,
2) She’s the “awkward” twin, and
3) She’s a thief – kind of.
Darius designs security systems for Cipher Security, and the strange and remarkable woman he met the night the painting was stolen is as intriguing a mystery as his hunt for the thief is.
But the lady has no filter, and she knows she can’t lie to the man who looks like a Disney Prince and kisses like fairytales are true, so she runs from the one person who may actually see her as the heroine of her own story.
‘Code of Honor’ is a full-length contemporary romantic suspense, can be read as a standalone and is book #2 in the Cipher Security series, Knitting in the City World, Penny Reid Book Universe.
Download your copy TODAY or read FREE in Kindle Unlimited!
The woman in front of me, with whom conversation was akin to playing barefoot hopscotch on hot asphalt, who walked like shoes confused her, and who smelled of a spring breeze through a field of wildflowers, expected me to turn tail and bolt.
I rarely did the expected, however, and often made choices that flew directly in the face of convention. And as nothing about this woman or this conversation was conventional, I stayed.
And I laughed.
This startled her, and she suddenly dropped to the floor in what seemed at first to be a defensive maneuver, but was actually a crouch in order to pet the cat. Her posture put her face at approximately groin height, and for the space of exactly one half-second, I considered remaining in place to see if she would notice. But chivalry got the better of me, and I knelt down beside her.
Her face flamed bright red, and for a moment I thought she was ill.
“I was just staring at your penis, wasn’t I?” she said in a tone of complete chagrin.
Rarely did I meet someone even more straightforward than myself, and I attempted a benign expression. “Were you?”
The delightful woman sighed. “I was. I’m sorry.” But then a mischievous glint came into her eyes, and she said in a perfectly benign tone, “So, what do you think about my pussy?”
I choked on a startled bark of laughter, and she allowed herself a small grin as she deliberately ran her hands through the fur of the very contented cat.
“On that note, I believe it’s time for me to find something red to drink to match the color of my face,” she said, as she rose to her feet. She wasn’t graceful about it, but she was strong and didn’t wobble until she tried to take a step. She’d managed to stand on the hem of the pink silk gown she wore and winced at the sound of her heel tearing the fabric.
“Well, now I’ve officially hit my humiliation quota for the night. Enjoy the party, Mr. Masoud,” she said brightly, as she hurried away across the room. I let her go without further comment, though my eyes tracked her as she plucked a glass of red wine from a passing tray and finished half of it in one large gulp.
About April White
April White has been a film producer, private investigator, bouncer, teacher and screenwriter. She has climbed in the Himalayas, survived a shipwreck, and lived on a gold mine in the Yukon. She and her husband share their home in Southern California with two extraordinary boys and a lifetime collection of books.
Her first novel, Marking Time is the 2016 winner of the Library Journal Indie E-Book Award for YA Literature, and all five books in the Immortal Descendants series are on the Amazon Top 100 lists in Time Travel Romance and Historical Fantasy.
The Treble With Men, an all-new standalone contemporary romance from Piper Sheldon, is LIVE!
As far as Green Valley is concerned, Kim Dae disappeared into the Wraiths a decade ago. They were sort of right. Kim has spent her life since Jethro fighting her curious nature and trying to blend into the background. Unfortunately for her, a mysterious Maestro comes to town and takes quick notice of her for reasons unknown to anybody.
The masked conductor, known simply as Devlin, was already a source of much gossip thanks to his reputation for getting fired. Now, his sudden interest in the quiet fourth chair cellist has added fuel to the rumor fire. The new conductor of the symphony needs to learn to control his temper and finish his latest musical masterpiece and only the reluctant star of his symphony can help him do that. If Devlin can’t convince Kim to help to finish his latest composition he’ll lose everything.
Can Devlin and Kim compose without losing composure?
‘The Treble with Men’ is a full-length contemporary romance, can be read as a standalone, and is book #2 in the Scorned Women’s Society series, Green Valley World, Penny Reid Book Universe.
Piper Sheldon writes Contemporary Romance and Magical Realism books that hope to be New York Times bestsellers when they grow up. For now, she works as a technical writer during the day and writes about love the rest of the time. Of course she also makes room for her husband, toddler, and two needy dogs at home in the Desert Southwest.
Under The Rose returns us to the thrilling world of Codex, an elite private detective agency that excels at finding stolen literary property, whether it be books or letters. The story follows Freya, whom we met in Behind the Veil, as she reunites with her old college nemesis and current FBI agent Sam. They are forced to work together to uncover stolen love letters … and possibly crumble a secret society while they are at it.
I love this book! Enemies to lovers is my absolute JAM and it’s done expertly here. There is so much steam and so much pent up emotion and passion … with a hefty side of mystery, intrigue, humor, suspense, and romance. Seriously what more could you want? Freya is a badass, unafraid to take a man down all while battling very relatable struggles. Sam is strong, devoted, responsible, and willing to put it all on the line for love. 5 stars!
Blurb:
She’s about to go undercover with her arch-nemesis…
From the outside, the gorgeous Freya Evandale seems like a quirky bookworm with a taco addiction. Most people would never guess she’s a proud drop-out of the FBI’s training academy and a highly-skilled computer nerd. These days, she’s happy as a private detective at Codex, specializing in stolen rare books.
That is until an old nemesis with an arrogant smirk and superhero shoulders ends up in her office.
Special Agent Sam Byrne is a tightly-wound workaholic with a secret…or ten. When a betrayal leaves him questioning his career with the Bureau, consulting for Codex seems like the perfect place to hide. But he certainly never expected to see Freya again. At the academy, their rivalry was legendary. And their sparring sessions resembled an actual battle, or worse… foreplay.
Now these enemies are forced to play nice as they go undercover to infiltrate a secret society. It’s a dangerous world of power, wealth, and shifting alliances. The higher the stakes, the harder it is to resist the true reason behind their rivalry. But surrendering to years of pent-up lust is a direct threat to their mission…and their safety.
Author’s Note: If smoldering enemies-to-lovers, volcanic repressed lust, secret tunnels, gun-toting bad guys, and delicious slow burns are your jam, Under the Rose is for you!
Get it here!
Under the Rose links:
Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Under-Rose-Kathryn-Nolan-ebook/dp/B086HVT6F1
Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B086HVT6F1
Goodreads TBR link: http://bit.ly/2IWn8MR
Kathryn Nolan links:
Amazon Author Page: https://amzn.to/2UNSJFW
Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/profile/kathryn-nolan
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KatNolanRomance/
Reader Group: https://bit.ly/341uaty
Instagram: @KathrynNolanRomance
Gunnar Erickson has moved to Green Valley to train at his older brother Cage’s MMA gym. After a freak accident he finds himself at the hospital, where he meets ER nurse Frankie. Frankie hates violence and complications, and doesn’t want to fall for Gunnar’s charms. Can he prove to her he’s not an uneducated brute, despite his violent career?
Oh man oh man Gunnar Erickson is perfection. Patient, understanding, sensitive, strong, sweet, thoughtful, I could go on and on. Maybe a little more patient and thoughtful than a 22 year old dude normally is, but hey- it’s a romance novel, things can be unrealistic and still enjoyable.
There is such a good balance of really difficult topics and humor. Some heavy, emotional things happen and it’s written with a delicate hand. It doesn’t rely on overly kooky plot lines, its a simple story of two people falling in love while dealing with past trauma.
If you’re familiar with the Green Valley universe you’ll recognize some of the secondary characters and locations, but I truly don’t think you would need to read the rest to understand this book (you should read them anyway though). This was such a great way to kick off the spring SmartyPants Romance launch!
Blurb:
If opposites do actually attract, then Gunnar Erickson and Frankie Reeves take the cake.
Frankie Reeves is complicated, even though she won’t admit it. She fills her days working as an ER nurse, taking care of her mom, and searching for the father she never knew. Anything else has no place in her perfectly compartmentalized, purposefully simple life. Attachments? No thank you. She has no time for that.
Gunnar Erickson recently moved to Green Valley to train at Viking MMA with his brother Cage. Being the youngest of the Erickson clan, he’s always felt like he has something to prove, and now that he’s finished with college, it’s his time to shine. But before he can step into the ring, a freak accident sends him to the ER and into the care of one Frankie Reeves.
While he’s immediately smitten, she pretends to be unfazed by this six-foot-three, two hundred and thirty-pound beef cake. Gunnar sets out to prove to Frankie that, not only does she like him more than she wants to admit, but he’s not the uneducated, brute she assumes he is. To Frankie, he’s the worst kind of complication, but that doesn’t make it easy to stay away.
‘Beef Cake’ is a full-length contemporary romance, can be read as a standalone, and is book #4 in the Donner Bakery series, Green Valley World, Penny Reid Book Universe.
“I wanted to see you,” I admit. There’s no sense in beating around the bush. If she doesn’t know I’m into her, then I really need to reevaluate my strategy, or up my game.
Opening the door, she turns her back to me and I see the way her shoulders lift then fall, and when she speaks, she sounds distracted. “Can you just—I can’t deal with this. I don’t have time to deal with you, okay? I’m not interested. Leave me alone.”
I feel my entire body deflate. She wants me to leave her alone, I’ll leave her alone. But since we’re here, talking, and this might be my last chance, a part of me I can’t ignore wants to make sure her disinterest isn’t because I’m a fighter.
“Okay. Fine. But do you mind if I ask why?” I get the feeling she has her guard up all the time. I get it, I do. She’s a beautiful woman, but it’s got to be exhausting. Somehow, I’d still like to prove that it’s not necessary with me.
She slowly turns back around. “Why what?” It’s obvious she’s trying to avoid answering, so I spell it out for her.
“Why aren’t you interested?” I ask, keeping it casual and relaxed as I take a step back until my back is flush with the side of the truck. I don’t want her to feel threatened or pressured, but I do want her to talk. So, I’m hoping if I give her a little space, she’ll open up.
“You can be honest, it’s cool.” I shrug. “I’m just looking for some constructive feedback here. So, do you not find me attractive?” I ask, unable to keep from smiling. “Or are you just not into blondes? Or muscles?” I continue, trying a more playful approach, and it works. The side of her mouth pulls as she fights back a smile, her cheeks heating.
“I—you know I find you attractive,” she mumbles reluctantly, the stain on her cheeks warming to red.
I nearly sigh in relief but stop myself, because this means her disinterest has its root in my fear. “Frankie,” I continue softly, “is it because I’m a fighter?”
Her gaze cuts to mine and she presses her lips together, and that’s all the answer I need. My stomach drops.
We stand there like that, watching each other, and she sways toward me, her eyes conflicted.
“Listen,” I tell her, sighing, putting my hands in my pockets. “Go on one date with me, pretend I’m a lawyer, a doctor—”
She snorts, rolling her eyes. “I wouldn’t go on a date with a doctor either.”
“Fine, pretend I’m a window washer.”
Now her lips twist to the side to hide a new smile.
“I promise I won’t talk about MMA or cage fighting. Just one date. If you’re still not interested, I’ll leave you alone. And I’ll leave you alone now if that’s really what you want. All I’m asking for is a chance . . . and a date.”
She eyes me and I can tell she’s giving it some thought, which is hopeful.
Patiently, I wait for the final verdict, hoping it’s not a no.
“You’re incredibly persistent.” Still struggling with her smile, she sighs in mock exasperation.
Am I proud of the fact I’ve convinced her to give me a shot in such a short time? Yes. And no. Yes, because I set out to do something and nothing makes me happier than accomplishing a goal. No, because I hate that I had to do it in the first place. I’ve never had to convince someone to talk to me or go out with me. But her misconceptions about me based on what I do don’t sit right.
Thumbing my bottom lip, I give her a smirk. “I’ve been told my persistence is an attractive quality.”
She finally—fucking finally—fully smiles, and it’s everything. The sun, the moon, the stars. I swear it just lit up this dark-as-fuck parking lot. “Is that so?” Her tone is different. She’s losing the chill and I’m thinking there might be a warm, soft center under that thick layer of ice.
And, fuck if I don’t want to find out.
“Tomorrow morning,” she announces, interrupting the fantasy of her curves under my hands.
Wait. What?
“Morning?” I ask, not sure I heard her correctly. With the blood leaving my brain and flowing to my dick, it’s possible I wasn’t paying attention.
Crossing her arms, she copies my stance, leaning against her car. “Yes, tomorrow morning. Daisy’s Nut House. If we’re doing this, we’re doing it on my terms, and I’m busy. That’s my only offer. Take it or leave it.”
I get the feeling she thinks her offer is going to scare me off or change my mind, but she’s badly mistaken. “Tomorrow morning,” I confirm. “What time?” She could tell me two o’clock on the moon and I’d make that shit happen.
“Seven.”
Again, the quirk of her head tells me it’s a challenge. One I gladly accept.
“I’ll be there at six thirty,” I counter.
There’s an air of skepticism whirling around, but I’ll be happy to see her look of surprise when I’m sitting in the parking lot of Daisy’s Nut House tomorrow morning when she arrives. Shit, I might drive over there now and sleep in the truck, just to make sure I’m early.
Her laugh, although disbelieving, is music to my ears. It might also be my new favorite sound.
Shaking her head, she gets into her car without another word and I stay put, watching her buckle up and drive off. I’m pretty sure she stops and looks back at me before turning out on the street. Could be my wishful thinking, but I’m going to roll with it.
About Jiffy Kate
Jiffy Kate is the joint pen name for Jiff Simpson and Jenny Kate Altman. They’re co-writing besties who share a brain. They also share a love of cute boys, stiff drinks, and fun times.
Together, they’ve written over twenty stories. Their first published book, Finding Focus, was released in November 2015. Since then, they’ve continued to write what they know–southern settings full of swoony heroes and strong heroines.
Never borrow pants from your brother. Especially if he’s a size smaller than you are, because all that pressure in the junk will short-circuit your brain.
And you’ll lie to a woman in a club about your real name.
Leave her unsatisfied after making out in a bathroom.
Then find out that she’s the one thing standing in the way of your dreams. And she very much doesn’t like being lied to.
Now I have to convince Lila Valentine—the woman I can’t stop thinking about, my biggest regret, and my new boss—that I’m what’s best for the baseball team she’s inherited.
If we can’t work together to save the Fireballs, the commissioner’s forcing a sale and moving them across the country.
I’ll do anything to save my home team.
But the one thing I can’t do?
Keep my hands to myself.
Which would be fine, if she hadn’t been telling me lies this whole time too.
Liar, Liar, Hearts on Fire is a rocking fun romance between a single dad obsessed with baseball, an heiress with secrets, baseball pants, a rundown team, and rabid ducks. It stands alone and comes with a guaranteed happily-ever-after.
The squawking erupts again nearby and saves me. There are no visible chickens on the field, and it gets louder as we approach the dugout on the first base side.
Louder and more intense.
Very intense.
Like, are there chicken police? Because we might need the chicken police.
I drift directly behind Tripp while we approach the noise, shameless in using him as a human shield if this is a chicken uprising. What’s that movie? The one with the apes that rebel and take over the world? That’s what this sounds like, except with feathers and clucks instead of chest-pounding and grunts.
“Should we call security?” My self-defense classes didn’t cover protecting yourself from rabid chickens.
“That’d be a foul,” he murmurs. And then chuckles to himself, and oh my god.
“Foul—fowl? Like a bird-fowl? Did you just make a dad joke at a time like this?”
“A time like this? You mean a random Tuesday night at a deserted ball field?”
“At a time when the chickens are gathering for a ritualistic sacrifice of one of their own.”
His shoulders shake, and he seems to be struggling to cough.
“Oh, god, did you inhale a feather? Is that how this starts? They shed their feathers to choke us to death?”
“Please don’t talk about chickens and choking in the same sentence.”
“That was not a dad joke.”
“No, it was—oh. Duck.”
I squat low, spinning to see what I’m ducking from.
Tripp flips his flashlight on me. I squint and cover my head. “Stop! I can’t see! What’s coming?”
“Lila. Ducks. Ducks. Not chickens. It’s mating ducks.”
He swings the flashlight to the dugout, and—oh.
Oh.
“Is it…supposed to be that violent?”
There are two ducks under the bench in the dugout, one flapping its wings and chasing the other, who’s squawking so loudly she could wake the dead.
And— “Ohmygod, I did not need to see that!”
Duck penis.
Duck penis.
Oh my god. Duck penis. Duck penis should not look like that.
Tripp’s bent double laughing.
“Where’s security?” I demand. “Hello? Security? Security? I’ll give whoever removes this duck a ten-thousand-dollar bonus. Right now.”
No one comes running for ten grand, because no one can hear me.
The squawking. It’s a cry for help.
“It’s nature,” Tripp says. He’s wiping his eyes now, he’s laughing so hard. “Give ’em a few. They’ll finish up.”
The girl duck is racing back and forth under the bench.
The boy duck is chasing her with that thing.
And I am not having it. “Shoo. Shoo!“
“Lila!” Tripp calls, but I’m already gone.
Flapping my arms. Yelling. Charging the dugout and the ducks.
Why are they even here? There’s no pond here. Winter’s coming. They should be flying to the Caribbean for Mai Tais and sunshine.
And instead, they’re ruining the sanctity of my ballpark.
“Shoo!” I yell again.
I hit the stairs down to the long covered bench, and the boy duck suddenly seems to realize I’m coming at him.
He turns, pointing that thing at me, flaps his wings, and gets this evil glint in his eyes that means I really should’ve thought about what I was doing before I came in here.
“Woo her nicely,” I snap.
He squawks—no, quacks at me.
Crap.
I need to go back to kindergarten to learn my animal sounds again. I’m a city girl. We don’t do farm animals.
“And put that thing away!“
“Lila.” Tripp’s laughing so hard he’s wheezing. He grabs my elbow and tugs. “Let the ducks be.”
“I’d let it be if he wasn’t attacking her.”
“Maybe that’s how ducks have sex.”
“Then maybe ducks shouldn’t exist.”
“QQQUUUUAAAACCCCCKKKKK!” the boy duck yells.
It’s like a Braveheart yell, and I realize I’m asking the wrong question.
I shouldn’t be asking why is the duck assaulting the other duck in a dugout?
I should be asking what have humans previously done to this duck because he’s going to kill me?
It charges, wings flapping.
I scream and take off running. Tripp mutters a well-timed, oh, fuck and runs with me. “The other dugout,” he shouts, pointing to the dugout on the third base side.
Another light flashes up in the stands.
“Security!” I yell. “Arrest the duck! Arrest the duck!“
It’s gaining on us. Quacking louder. And it can fly. It can fly.
It’s going to swoop over us, poop on our heads, and whack us with that—that—that mutant penis and then scoop us up in its talons, and—”Aaah! It got me. It got me!“
Pippa Grant is a USA Today Bestselling author who writes romantic comedies that will make tears run down your leg. When she’s not reading, writing or sleeping, she’s being crowned employee of the month as a stay-at-home mom and housewife trying to prepare her adorable demon spawn to be productive members of society, all the while fantasizing about long walks on the beach with hot chocolate chip cookies.
Been There Done That, an all-new second-chance romantic standalone by debut author Hope Ellis, is LIVE!
ZORA LEFFERSBEE’S once perfect life is no longer perfect. Her tenure at the University is in question, funding for her employees uncertain, and her faux-fiancé, Jackson James’s unpredictability is wearing on her last nerve. Just when Zora is convinced things can’t get more complicated, life proves her wrong.
What the heck is he doing here?
NICK ROSSI’s complicated life is still extremely complicated. He’s used to fighting for everything he has, but he’s also used to winning. Now a man of power and influence, his return to Green Valley after so many years hasn’t gone according to plan, especially with the woman he’s always wanted.
She can’t know why I left, or why I’m back.
A powerful woman intent on righting the wrongs of the world, Zora doesn’t have time or energy to deal with the man who broke her young heart.
A powerful man intent on righting the wrongs of the past, Nick can’t help wanting to protect Zora, even if his devotion is unrequited.
‘Been There Done That’ is a full-length contemporary romance, can be read as a standalone, and is book #1 in the Leffersbee series, Green Valley World, Penny Reid Book Universe.
Hope Ellis is a health outcomes researcher by day and writes romances featuring sexy nerds by night. She hopes to one day conquer her habit of compulsively binge-watching The Office.
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